Three Guys On

Episode 167 - Geraldo Got Manually Raped

threeguyson — Thu, 17 May 2012 06:01:54 +0000

Welcome back to the show, people. This time out, we attempt to make sense of Bristol Palin’s advice to Barack Obama on how to interact with his family. After all, she’s the expert. After that, it’s time to listen to Geraldo Rivera’s harrowing tale of being the victim of a sex crime or something. It was probably that hoodie he was wearing. We also take a few minutes to listen to our new favorite crazy preacher, Jesse Lee Peterson. He has something to say about women’s suffrage. Like to hear it, here it go! And we close with a question that keeps everyone up at night: if you’re having sex with a 70-year-old woman and she dies in bed, what do you do?

Episode 166 - The Bachelorette Party

threeguyson — Mon, 14 May 2012 07:38:01 +0000

Hey people. In this episode, two of us call our mother’s for Mother’s Day. Can you guess which ones? You probably can. We also discuss the ups and downs, mostly downs, of a drunken bachelorette party that decided to check out a show at the Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse last weekend. Drinks were consumed. Tears were shed. Threats were made. After that, it’s on to some discussion of everybody’s favorite wooden politician, Mitt Romney. And we finish things up with some talk about breastfeeding and the cult of attachment parenting. It’ll make your chewed up nipples hard.

Episode 165 - Brooklyn Nets, Tanorexic

threeguyson — Thu, 10 May 2012 07:55:24 +0000

Did you miss us? We’re back. This time out, we explore one writers alternate name for the new Brooklyn Nets of the NBA. Did you know Jay-Z is a co-owner of that team? Does anything rhyme with Brooklyn? After that, we gawk at the “tanorexic” mother who took her five-year-old to a tanning booth. She went in a woman and came out a catcher’s mitt. From there, we explore five things you should never tell your child. Apparently, one of those things isn’t “Don’t sit so close to that lion.” And we finish with our thoughts on Linda Evangelista’s custody battle.

Episode 164 - Put Your Leg This Way

threeguyson — Mon, 07 May 2012 07:16:22 +0000

Thanks for coming back, folks. This episode includes discussion of Colombian hookers, ethnic hair care, and curvy women. Also in this show, we review video evidence of Brian McKnight’s fake new direction. And, you’ll get to hear what we have in common with old ladies when it comes to watching sex tapes. After that, it’s time to answer the age old question: Does Kate Upton have sex with black guys? Our experts weigh in. We close the show wondering whether Ashton Kutcher is racist or if people are just overly sensitive. Enjoy!

Episode 163 - We Don’t Care About No Period

threeguyson — Thu, 03 May 2012 07:24:11 +0000

Welcome back, people. This episode features not one, but two bad songs. Aren’t you lucky? And in a 3GO first, we have a country song thrown into the mix. Oh, and the rap entry isn’t too shabby either, so put a towel down. From there, we consult an article about the ever changing world of gender stereotypes. Shouldn’t there be a stereotype about men having the funniest podcasts? And we end the show with a heartwarming story of a 30-person all girl brawl that started because of a Facebook post. What’s not to like?

Episode 162 - Brian McKnight, Hockey Tweets

threeguyson — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:14:19 +0000

Hey people, you know what it is. We’re back! This episode starts with a sampling of Brian McKnight’s new song that people are somehow taking seriously. Let us show how jokes work. After that, we catch up with all the latest hockey news via Twitter. Did you know that a black guy scored a game winning goal last week? Good thing we have the internet to keep us informed. After that, we analyze an article about hipster racism, and a commercial that might have included some. And we finish with a couple things none of us has ever experienced: someone attacking us on stage, and someone shooting at us in shop class.

Episode 161 - Hot Problems, Temptress Problems

threeguyson — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:40:47 +0000

Remember back when we used to do a thing called This Week In Bad Music? Well, it’s back. In this episode, we try to stomach the viral anti-hit song Hot Problems by a couple of ladies who call themselves Double Take or something. Don’t worry, we get you in the mood with some actual good music first. After that, we get an update on Samantha Brick, the lady who’s too hot for life. And we read an article from a woman who doesn’t want to sell out by losing weight, but also wants a man. Hmmm…dilemmas. We end with a startling video of a reporter getting victimized and assaulted on live TV. It’s truly shocking.

Episode 160 - 50 Funniest, Columbia Hooker

threeguyson — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 05:53:00 +0000

Happy Monday, everybody. In this episode, we discuss what’s wrong with Time Out New York’s ‘50 Funniest New Yorkers’ list. Hint: just about everything. After that, we get an update on the Secret Service hooker scandal that’s not so secret anymore. From there, we contemplate the age-old question: what if you looked up porn on the internet and found your wife? And we finish off with a touching Craigslist post from a charming woman who wants to reunite with the guy who banged her in a bathroom at a Motorhead concert. Good luck, lady!

Episode 159 - Hitman, Ashley Judd, Melissa Etheridge

threeguyson — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 12:17:10 +0000

And we’re back. In this episode, we try something we’ve never tried before. We take our show on the road and record a few minutes of audio live at Joestock, a benefit show for our friend and fellow comedian Joe Deeley who recently suffered a stroke. Joe himself makes an appearance as well as Mike Way, Courtney Fearrington, Jason Weems, and Ryan Conner. After that, we finally get to the video of the world’s worst hitman. He missed twice. From there, we dissect Ashley Judd’s latest opus on the media and feminism and women and stuff. Speaking of women, we finish things off looking at Melissa Etheridge’s failed relationship. She might like gay marriage, but she probably hates gay divorce.

Episode 158 - Petrino, Secret Service, White Guilt

threeguyson — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 07:50:44 +0000

What’s going on, people? This episode starts with a bang, or should we say a punch, as we relay the story of how a crackhead decided to take a swing at Randolph during a show last Saturday night. What was he smoking? After that, we look into the Bobby Petrino scandal. He took a girl for a ride on his motorcycle and it cost him $18 million. From there, we explore whether or not Secret Service agents should be allowed to go to a hooker every now and then. And we finish things off with a couple more racists writers who have finally seen the err of their ways and gotten rid of their white guilt. It’s about time.

Episode 157 - Mary J. Blige, Brittney Griner

threeguyson — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 05:45:11 +0000

It’s about time for a new podcast, don’t you agree? In this episode, we discuss Mary J. Blige’s highly offensive (not really) commercial for Burger King’s delicious and nutritious (not really) chicken wraps. She sang, people got outraged, Twitter got flame broiled. After that, it’s on to a woman who thinks her life is hard because, get this, she’s too pretty. From there, we try to analyze the college basketball career of our main man, Brittney Griner. And finally, it’s the story of a guy who cheated on his girl with another girl. And he would have gotten away with it if jail had longer visiting hours.

Episode 156 - The Talk, Junkyard Prophet, Joe Walsh

threeguyson — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 05:54:06 +0000

We’re back! Take a second to compose yourself. Now, in this podcast we discuss one columnist’s version of “The Talk,” only this time, it’s for white people. It’s about time white people got their own version of things. After that, we hear from Christian rockers Junkyard Prophet, a righteous rock bank spreading their Limp Bizkitized message of peace, love, pro-life and anti-gay to high schools everywhere. And we close things out with a few choice quotes from crazy Tea Party congressman, Joe Walsh. He supports the troops unless they’re running against him.

Episode 155 - Alpha Males, Porn Prom

threeguyson — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 07:33:31 +0000

Happy Thursday, everybody. In this episode, we learn about the qualities that make up an alpha male from an article that was probably written by a woman. We don’t actually know who wrote it because she wasn’t man enough to sign her name. After that, we get some parenting tips from Randolph, including how to handle a premature diaper change. From there, it’s a story about a guy who got two porn stars to commit to going to prom with him via twitter #meth. And we close out with a ridiculous YouTube clip of a woman going crazy in her college class. Enjoy the show!

Episode 154 - Geraldo Rivera, Newt Gingrich

threeguyson — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:03:51 +0000

Hey people, you know what time it is. In this episode, we discuss a couple updates on the Trayvon Martin situation, including some poignant, well-reasoned, insightful remarks from Geraldo Rivera. Next week, we hope to hear from Rikki Lake and Sally Jesse Raphael. From there, we move on to some poignant, well-reasoned, insightful remarks from Newt Gingrich regarding Barack Obama and Robert DeNiro. Did you know Newt’s middle name is Leroy? And we close with a classic story of two ladies getting into a fight on Facebook, which leads to an actual fight.

Episode 153 - American Idol, Courtney Love, Homeless Hotspots

threeguyson — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 07:49:01 +0000

And we’re back. In this episode, we talk about women, their dishonesty, and how it ruins things. From there, we get into American Idol’s latest ratings grabber: kicking a guy off live on the air because he has a few warrants. After that, we touch on Courtney Love. Not literally - that would be disgusting. We try to figure out why she hates the Muppets so much. And we finish things off with a “controversial” story about a company using homeless people as wifi hotspots. How many people do you think used those hotspots to tweet their outrage about them?

Episode 152 - Trayvon Martin, Bad Coaches

threeguyson — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 06:10:33 +0000

Hey folks, welcome back to the podcast - we don’t care if you’re Black, White, Hispanic, or Buster. In this episode, Randolph and Tim recap their shows last weekend, and Randolph reveals how members of a comedy club staff can ruin a show. From there, we get into the Trayvon Martin story. If you don’t know who that is, Google it. We listen to the 911 calls and pass all kinds of judgements on the shooter. After that, it’s a few stories about the worst coaches in the world. Coaches who bite ears, coaches who cut entire teams, and coaches who get knocked the fuck out. Enjoy the show.

Episode 151 - “Fat” Model, Mantyhose, Blackface

threeguyson — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 05:21:59 +0000

What’s happening everybody? Today, we start things off with a fat man looking for help, and a “fat” model looking for work. We then hear about the latest fashion craze sweeping the world of effeminate men: Mantyhose. Yes, they’re exactly what you think they are. And, have you ever had a drinking problem, you know, where you find yourself constantly drinking gasoline? We’ve all gone through that at some point, right? Finally, we close the podcast with a real example of blackface, unlike that ridiculous Billy Crystal stuff, and a story about a homemade cannon that accidentally killed somebody. How did you know it was in a trailer park?

Episode 150 - The Return of Tim Miller

threeguyson — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 06:08:22 +0000

Here we are again, people. And welcome back to the podcast, Tim Miller. That’s right, Tim returns this week with a short recap of his road trip to Richmond, VA last weekend. After a little more comedy talk, we try to sink our teeth into a viral song about Rick Santorum. Turns out, he has fans, and they sometimes like to sing and play guitar. How frothy. After that, we take a look at Joe the Plumber’s recent CNN interview. Those damned gotcha questions got him again. And we finish things off with a story about one lottery winner’s love affair with food stamps.

Episode 149 - Rush Limbaugh, Mormons

threeguyson — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 06:10:08 +0000

It’s Thursday, people. Mike James is once again in Tim’s seat for this one. In this episode, we discuss the firestorm around Rush Limbaugh’s comments about Sandra Fluke. Doesn’t he know we’re the only ones allowed to call women sluts? After that, we check out the latest YouTube trend: posting up a video of yourself and asking commenters if you’re ugly. Because as we all know, YouTube commenters are always thoughtful and reasoned. From there, it’s a look at Kate Upton’s latest porn/burger commercial, and we round things out with a discussion about whether or not the Mormon religion is racist.

Episode 148 - Oscars, Breitbart

threeguyson — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:42:14 +0000

Here we are again, folks. This week, Tim is once again out, on the road doing comedy. So last week’s hero, Mike James, is back again to fill in. In this episode, Randolph demonstrates how to make a woman angry with a compliment. Andy discusses how not to conduct yourself during a Comedy Central taping. We discuss Billy Crystal’s “racist” Oscar moments, and all the “outrage” over them. And we get into some of the conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Andrew Breitbart.