Three Guys On

Episode 140 - Super Big Football Game Sunday

threeguyson — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:12:00 +0000

Hey folks, It’s ya boys from the podcast! We recorded this episode during the day before the big huge super football type game extravaganza, the name of which we’re not officially licensed to use. In this episode, we talk about a woman who wrote an article gloating about making her husband miss the game, and we look at a letter from Tom Brady’s wife asking folks to pray for him to play well. From there, it’s an update on the Fear Factor/donkey spunk story from last week. And we finish off with an unsuccessful attempt to find the Nicki Minaj video that was banned from BET. It’s obviously on YouTube, but maybe we’re just stupid hoe’s.

Episode 139 - Donkey Semen, Negative Porn

threeguyson — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:59:38 +0000

Welcome back, folks. In this episode, we discuss one woman’s horrible decision to spend her entire life eating Chicken McNuggets. It was only a matter of time before she collapsed and went to the hospital. And that time was about a week ago. At least she’s not like the person on Fear Factor who had to drink donkey semen. At least that woman’s not like the person who works for Fear Factor who had to extract the donkey semen. We move on to some analysis of a Rabbi’s claims that porn is, get this, a bad thing. What does he know? And we finish off the podcast with a story of a guy who beat his wife and blamed it on a ghost. Seriously.

Episode 138 - Obama/Brewer, Fetuses, Cougars

threeguyson — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:42:35 +0000

Hey people, thanks for tuning in. In this episode, we break down the contentious meeting between President Obama and that entitled white lady who stuck her finger in his face. What’s her name? Oh yeah, Jan Brewer. After that, it’s a detour into a WorldStarHipHop video. You know what that means - strippers fighting. From there, it’s back to some racial politics before we settle in with a story of how some people are trying to make it illegal to eat fetuses. Obviously, the fetus lobby is pretty strong. And we end things with some discussion on whether a few women in Utah should be offended by the word “cougar.”

Episode 137 - Kobe, Genderless Child

threeguyson — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:54:12 +0000

Hey everybody, welcome back and all that. This week, we start things off with a little discussion on passive aggressiveness. We don’t like it too much, but we would never actually say that out loud. After that, we get into all the problems with the Kobe Bryant divorce settlement. He shot three-pointers, she got three houses. From there, it’s on to a lone crusader who seems to have a problem with a toddler fake cussing on a TV show. It’s bad for America or something. Then, we talk about a British couple who finally revealed the sex of their genderless child. Care to guess what it is? And we finish off with a woman who doesn’t really know how to mourn the deaths of two kids.

Episode 136 - Shipwreck, Dick Play

threeguyson — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:04:25 +0000

Hey folks, how’s it hanging? In today’s podcast, we weigh in on the little dust-up between comedians T.J. Miller, and Dane Cook. Spoiler alert: The word “bitch” will be said. Moving on, we examine the transcript between the disgraced Italian cruise ship captain and his adversary at the Italian Coast Guard. Spoiler alert: Tim and Randolph do Italian accents. After that, we look at some video of a drunk Alabama fan rubbing his balls on a drunk LSU fan. In other words, just another day at college. And we finish off talking about an angry tennis player who decides to take his frustrations out on his rackets. Enjoy the show!

Episode 135 - J.R. Smith, Jay-Z

threeguyson — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 07:42:58 +0000

Hey, folks. In this episode, you’ll hear us briefly discuss the ongoing back and forth between Drake and the world’s most hated tattoo artist. After that, it’s on to China. Not literally, but we do discuss the discord at a Chinese Apple store over the release of the latest iPhone. From there, we look into J.R. Smith’s problems in the Chinese basketball league. Or should we say his sister’s problems. Speaking of problems, Jay-Z has 99 problems, but infertility evidently isn’t one. We talk about the swirling rumors surrounding the birth of his kid. And we finish off with a little detour looking at pictures and video of hot young supermodel, Kate Upton. Will her lack of ass sway Randolph? Tune in to find out.

Episode 134 - Tim Tebow, Paula Deen

threeguyson — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:34:50 +0000

Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. Did you tell a friend? In this episode, we discuss the miraculous season of god-loving, god-fearing, god-name-dropping football player, Tim Tebow. Finally, he doesn’t have to work on Sunday anymore. From there, it’s on to a quick discussion about a controversial anti-abortion ad, and a controversial anti-obesity ad. After that, we get into the hot buttered, deep fried world of Paula Deen. She cooks junk food, now she has diabetes. Coincidence? And we finish off with a little tangent on Beyond Scared Straight. Enjoy the show.

Episode 133 - Muffin, Math, Gunshots

threeguyson — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:29:45 +0000

Welcome back to the podcast, folks. In this episode, we turn our attention to the latest edition of the segment that just won’t die: This Week in Bad Music. This one is all about muffins. From there, it’s on to a third grade math quiz that somehow managed to incorporate slavery into the mix. You know, like how our founding fathers learned math. After that, we look into a potential new GPS app that helps you avoid the ghetto, and some Detroit EMS workers who wish it was already out. And we finish off with a story about a guy who decided to get some ink done on his most private of areas. Strangely, the tattoo had nothing to do with muffins.

Episode 132 - Snoop, Santorum, Crackers

threeguyson — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 07:14:47 +0000

Hey there, podcast listeners. In this episode, we find out what happens when Snoop Dogg shows up on The Price is Right. In a nutshell, prices are guessed, prizes are won, and Drew Carey most likely gets the munchies. From there, we move on to Pat Robertson. God tells Pat secrets that Pat doesn’t share with the rest of us. But trust him, he talks to God. No, really, he does. Speaking of talking to God, we move on to Rick Santorum. He’s the guy who wants to help blah people just as long as they’re not gay blah people, or gay people in general. And we finish things off trying to figure out where the word “cracker” lands on the scale of racially offensive slurs. Enjoy!

Episode 131 - The Divorce Episode

threeguyson — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 07:20:37 +0000

Happy first Thursday of the new year, everybody! Can you believe it? It’s another new year. And it’s also another Thursday. This episode is all about divorce. We didn’t necessarily plan it that way, that’s just what happened. From Chaz Bono, to Russell Brand, to Terrence Howard, to a guy who just got out of jail, to a guy who’s ninety-nine years old. They all have one thing in common. They’re having problems with their crazy, soon to be ex wives. That’s it. That’s the description for this podcast. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

Episode 130 - Jordans, Dunkin

threeguyson — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 07:28:11 +0000

Hey everybody, Happy New Year and all that other stuff. We’re back at full strength after taking last week off for Christmas. In this episode, we hear Tim recount his harrowing tale of trying to line up for a pair of Jordans while on vacation in Texas. The shoes may be limited, but people’s desire to get them is not. From there, it’s on to a video of a man who was so mad at his girlfriend, he tried to run her over in his truck. He missed, but wound up taking out an entire store instead. We also touch on the death of rapper Slim Dunkin. He was reportedly killed over a piece of candy. In other words, you could call it a death by chocolate. Enjoy the show!

Episode 129 - Happy Holidays!

threeguyson — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 05:00:57 +0000

With Tim still out, Courtney Fearrington sits in once again today. If that’s not enough, Courtney’s wife Erika chimes in with some input of her own. This podcast starts with us reading an article from our favorite woman-centric website, Jezebel.com. Jezebel asks the hard hitting questions, like “Can you tell the difference between a rapist and a men’s magazine?” We try our best. From there, it’s on to some back and forth about how to properly read a woman’s sexual cues. After that, we get into a horrific story about a man who died getting a penis injection, and an interesting story on Great Britain’s Muff March. And we finish things off with a probing look into Vocal Fry - the fad that’s causing grown women to sound like frogs.

Episode 128 - Poor Black Kids

threeguyson — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 08:31:07 +0000

And here we are again, folks! We once were lost, but now we’re found. This week, Tim is off doing a comedy show, so we had the one and only Courtney Fearrington sit in. If you don’t know who Courtney is, he’s a funny comedian, and also the podcast’s resident fact checker. In this episode, we discuss the idiocy of Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd, who prefers scoring drugs to scoring touchdowns. We also discuss a white Forbes columnist who penned an article called “If I Were a Poor Black Kid.” And we finish things off with a woman who spent six hours at Walmart whipping up some home-cooked meth while other people shopped.

Episode 127 - Lost & Found

threeguyson — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 08:56:04 +0000

Hey everybody. So, we know what you’re thinking. “If this is Episode 127, where’s Episode 126?” Well, sometimes, computers don’t work the way you want them to. So, Episode 126 has now officially become our lost episode. But the good news is, we always record two episodes at once. So today, we’re putting up the episode that was meant for Thursday. And on Thursday, well, we don’t know, yet. Check back to see if we have anything. Anyway, in this episode, we contrast hard Common with soft Common. By the way, did you know he’s trying to raise a daughter? Also in this episode, two stories of elementary school kids being accused of sexual harassment. And we finish off by looking at un-photoshopped pictures of women’s stomachs, and judging them. Enjoy!

Episode 125 - Music, Music, Music

threeguyson — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 07:15:50 +0000

Hey, you know what we like? Music. You know what this podcast is full of? Music. From good music, to bad music, to bad music that is kind of good, to good music that makes you want to do bad things, we cover a little bit of everything this time out. It’s not quite a Youtube journey - more like a Youtube derailment, but it’s entertaining just the same. Notable selections on this podcast’s playlist: Otis Redding, Soul II Soul, Plies, and Buddy Guy. Oh, and somewhere in there, we get into a conversation about an article telling men how to charm a woman.

Episode 124 - Cornbread, Fights

threeguyson — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:36:05 +0000

Here we are again, back from an eventful weekend. In this episode, we recap Andy’s last-minute gig opening for the great Marc Maron at the Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse. Jokes were told. Baked good were eaten. From there, we’ll analyze the problems of Cornbread Cain and his fledgling campaign. And speaking of recaps, we revisit the story from a few weeks ago about a former convict turned McDonald’s worker who put the smack down on some unruly customers. Staying on the theme of fights, we take a look at some video of kids fighting in school, and some old men fighting in Canada. Enjoy the show!

Episode 123 - Retro Junk

threeguyson — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 09:26:24 +0000

Remember on Monday’s episode when we were a little sleepy? Well, what do you think happens when you record a second episode back to back? This podcast starts with a trip down memory lane. We listen to some old TV show theme songs, and try to figure out how Andy never watched any of them. From there, it’s a quick trip into the mind of Newt Gingrich, and a detour into two stories about coaches who evidently don’t know the best way to motivate their players. And just when you think we’re ready to put this show to sleep, we catch our second wind with a story about a toy doll that some mothers think is calling them bitches, which of course, makes them act like bitches.

Episode 122 - Happy Black Friday!

threeguyson — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 08:43:41 +0000

Here we are again, folks. In this episode, we try to stay awake through all the tryptophan induced haze of our post-Thanksgiving hangovers. In other words, we’re a little sleepy. But that doesn’t stop us from getting into some Thanksgiving talk, including a discussion about dressing vs. stuffing, and which race mac and cheese belongs to. From there, we use Tim’s iPhone to get Siri to answer some questions for us, but to no avail. She’s a little shy, apparently. After that, we get into all the messes caused by Black Friday. Pepper spray, bullets, screaming hordes of shoppers, dead bodies…you know, the start of the holiday season. Enjoy the show!

Episode 121 - Happy Thanksgiving!

threeguyson — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:43:59 +0000

Hey folks, Happy Thanksgiving. Today’s episode is a bit shorter than usual, partly because of time constraints, and partly because today is a holiday. Don’t we deserve to take it easy, too? Well, in this episode, we discuss the idiocy of a lady camping out nine days early for a Black Friday sale. We also revisit the Tyler Perry/Kim Kardashian conversation from last week. And finally, just in time for stuff-yourself-full-of-turkey day, it’s a story about a woman with a big giant ass - only she got her big ass the hard way…with cement. Enjoy the show!

Episode 120 - Occupy Wall Street, Gay Stroke

threeguyson — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 09:39:10 +0000

One again it’s on! In this episode, we check back in with our Occupy Wall Street correspondent, comedian Ted Alexandro. We find out how Ted has been able to avoid getting arrested, getting tuberculosis, and getting raped. Because obviously, that’s what’s happening to everybody else down there. We also hear from Ted’s brother Rich, as he drops a Three Guys On exclusive rhyme about the protest. Eat your heart out, Justin Bieber. From there, we check the results of our Serena Williams poll from last week, and discuss a man who had a stroke, went into a coma, and woke up gay. We think it was probably a preexisting condition.